Gain insights from an autistic adult and a parent of an autistic child as they explain the causes if meltdowns and share practical strategies for reducing the possibility of a meltdown occurring and de-escalation.

Meltdowns can be a challenging and stressful experience. In this article, we provide a unique perspective on meltdowns, discussing their underlying causes, distinguishing them from tantrums, and offering strategies for effective management and post-meltdown care.

It Starts with Your Mindset

If you see someone having a meltdown, that person is not trying to get attention, being deliberately disobedient, nor are they challenging authority. 

This is somebody who is trying as hard as they can, but they are not coping because of overwhelming stress and a perceived lack of safety.

Meltdowns involve two parts of the brain: the "upstairs brain" and the "downstairs brain." The upstairs brain handles rational thinking, decision-making, and emotional control. However, during a meltdown, it goes offline, and the downstairs brain takes over with fight or flight responses.

Asking a child to calm down or using rewards/punishments during a meltdown worsens the situation because it tries to engage the unresponsive upstairs brain through reasoning or control strategies. Recognizing that they are already doing their best is crucial and perhaps, "trying their best" is why they are in that difficult situation.

Differentiating Tantrums and Meltdowns

Tantrums seek attention or control and involve conscious actions for the desire to communicate. However, meltdowns are about being so overwhelmed that the mind switches to survival mode and unable to process external stimuli or communicate.

This is akin to a person who is drowning. Despite what we may see in movies where people struggling in the water are desperately crying for help to get attention, in real life, drowning can be silent. That is why lifeguards are trained to spot these little movements.

Understanding Meltdowns "from the Inside"

For an autistic person, a meltdown could feel like you're suddenly underwater. You couldn't process any information around you and all the information only seems like murmurs in the distance.

That's how the downstairs brain protects itself.

The core of a meltdown is a desire for safety and aligning emotions, which might look like extreme emotional behaviour on the outside. However, from the inside, it is much worse. From the inside, it is an overwhelming feeling that can result to self-harm and or severe anxiety.

So, instead of adding more pressure on someone who is already drowning, the goal should be de-escalation.

De-escalation

De-escalation should be the primary focus when the upstairs brain offline and the child is overwhelmed. De-escalation requires an awareness of triggers and providing a safe space to recover. Removing demands, creating a safe space, and reducing sensory input can help reduce anxiety and prevent harm to oneself and others.

Reducing the possibility of a meltdown occurring

It must be emphasized that reducing the possibility of a meltdown occurring in the first place due to sensory overload is key. Environmental factors such as lighting, noise, and sensory input should be considered and tailored accordingly.

Post-Meltdown Care

After a meltdown, when the upstairs brain becomes responsive again, it's crucial to rebuild self-esteem and maintain a positive connection. Communicate with the individual about the experience, acknowledging the challenges they faced, and offer support and reassurance, finishing the day on a positive note. By emphasizing love and positive future aspects, anxiety can be reduced, contributing to the prevention of future meltdowns.

Be the Lifeguard That Children Need

Navigating meltdowns necessitates a deep understanding of the challenges that can be faced by autistic individuals and a commitment to unwavering support. By distinguishing meltdowns from tantrums, employing effective de-escalation strategies, and offering post-meltdown care, we can create a safe and inclusive educational environment.